Last week was tragic to the pop culture of the late 1990s and 2000s. We sat here and witnessed the unraveling of several black entertainers who brought us through our wonder years. We quickly found out that fame, money, looks, and charisma doesn't exempt anyone from having a misguided mentality.
I know somewhere out there Kevin Hart has to be turning back flips about everything that went down last week. Thanks to Usher's herpes situation and R. Kreepy being a sex driven pedo reincarnation of David Koresh, Kevin's cheating looked almost harmless.
In reality we all know that Kevin's affair is far from innocent and it's unfortunate that his pregnant wife is having to play somewhat of a fool and swallow her pride. But hey, at least she can be proud that Kevin isn't drugging women, holding young girls captive or giving them some wasabi peen.
Kevin is lucky that he managed to get busted the same week we found out that R. Kreepy (originally R. Kelly) is a cult leader, Usher is leaking radiator fluid from his penis, and the juice is loose. Yes, last week was a scorching fest of straight up messcapade.
But what is the underlining issue of all this and why am I going on about it?
I care about all of this because it is a wake up call for women to do better. Yes, I said it. We, women of all color need to do better.
What happen to us protecting ourselves and not being gullible to stardom? These men (with the exception of OJ because he really loves black women enough to leave us alone) are taking us for granted and pissing all over our hopes and dreams with viruses and cheating. Many of the women who are fallen victim to it are those who went in with their eyes on the prize of being future cast member on Bravo's Real Housewives series while believing they have a magical box.
But the problem is - their box is not magical and unfortunately they got played. I can't say I feel sorry for any of the women. I am not condoning what happened but simply implying that WE have to be more careful! We have to do better!
Don't let any male sword glide in your kingdom without seeing papers. I don't care how much money, power, or influence a man has - protect yourself. You only have one box and you have to protect it with your life. Settlement monies will help ease the pain but isn't everlasting. When the money is gone, you're left with a Goodwill box and skeptical luck that someone will like you enough to not care about your health status. Always keep in mind that good looks, charm, and endless pockets, doesn't mean his peen is clean.
So what's next? What can you do to protect you, your daughter, family member or bff? You can be honest, upfront, smarter and less occupied with a man's material possessions, looks, or influence.
As women, it should be our goal to prepare ourselves and caution young women about unhealthy and healthy traits to look for in a man. And most importantly - we need to LOVE our daughters, sisters, nieces, aunts, cousins, and friends because when we do the likelihood that they'll look for love in the wrong places diminishes.
A couple of months ago my daughter, Danni, and I attended a mother and daughter luncheon hosted by Stephanie's Dollhouse. I was excited about the event since it would be the first mother daughter social gathering for us. Besides that, it was an opportunity to witness a milestone in Stephanie's fruition of her nonprofit organization.
I made it a mission not to miss the luncheon because I knew it would be a quality event and an excellent chance to create a great memory with Danni. To start off, we decided to go shopping (something I don't care for but Danni adores) for dresses that fit our style. Danni tried on several churchy and princess type of gowns while I found comfort in a yellow flowing sun dress. We didn't go for the standard matching dress ensemble. Danni and I have too much individuality to feel ourselves twining and winning.
After finding our perfect dresses, I asked Danni how she wanted her hair styled for the luncheon. I'm not for sure if most mothers let their 8 year old decide how they want their hair comb. I know for certain my mother didn't until I was in middle school. I pride myself on doing things differently by giving Danni options with her physical appearance. She always pulls her look off even when the patterns and colors don't make sense to me. Donald often jokes that she mismatches so much that it actually ends up not clashing.
Danni expressed that she wanted her hair styled in an afro, I was pleased. Her Irish twin* brother (only older by 1.5 years) advised her that she should go with another look until I gave a beaming look of disdain. Afterwards, he quickly corrected his statement telling her that he wouldn't pick a fro (ha you see what I did there) but it's not his decision therefore she should style her hair as she pleases.
Danni gave a big smile and insisted that an afro was her final choice. In that moment I was proud. I know it sounds strange being proud of a hair choice but it was the fact that she didn't let another person's opinion sway her that impressed me. I am fortunate enough to have a confident daughter who loves her natural self.
Stephanie started the luncheon with a celebration of what her organization, Stephanie's Dollhouse, represent. In her speech she discussed the importance of mother daughter bonding and how her mother influences her daily. We listened to testimonies from women who beat the odds by carving out a strategic path to their success. The women showed their gratitude and attributed their can-do attitude to having loving, smart, and driven mothers who gave unconditional support and love.
Afterwards we participated in games and ate brunch. We took pictures and gave praise to Stephanie for her hard work in bringing all of us together to celebrate womanhood through mother and daughter bonding.
The mother and daughter luncheon was a special day that I will always cherish. A dress up brunch with mothers and daughters while supporting a great friend and creating memories in a warm and inviting atmosphere was exactly what Danni and I needed to create a wonderful memory. Thanks Stephanie and Stephanie's Dollhouse for the invitation to a great experience.