A couple of months ago my daughter, Danni, and I attended a mother and daughter luncheon hosted by Stephanie's Dollhouse. I was excited about the event since it would be the first mother daughter social gathering for us. Besides that, it was an opportunity to witness a milestone in Stephanie's fruition of her nonprofit organization.
I made it a mission not to miss the luncheon because I knew it would be a quality event and an excellent chance to create a great memory with Danni. To start off, we decided to go shopping (something I don't care for but Danni adores) for dresses that fit our style. Danni tried on several churchy and princess type of gowns while I found comfort in a yellow flowing sun dress. We didn't go for the standard matching dress ensemble. Danni and I have too much individuality to feel ourselves twining and winning.
After finding our perfect dresses, I asked Danni how she wanted her hair styled for the luncheon. I'm not for sure if most mothers let their 8 year old decide how they want their hair comb. I know for certain my mother didn't until I was in middle school. I pride myself on doing things differently by giving Danni options with her physical appearance. She always pulls her look off even when the patterns and colors don't make sense to me. Donald often jokes that she mismatches so much that it actually ends up not clashing.
Danni expressed that she wanted her hair styled in an afro, I was pleased. Her Irish twin* brother (only older by 1.5 years) advised her that she should go with another look until I gave a beaming look of disdain. Afterwards, he quickly corrected his statement telling her that he wouldn't pick a fro (ha you see what I did there) but it's not his decision therefore she should style her hair as she pleases.
Danni gave a big smile and insisted that an afro was her final choice. In that moment I was proud. I know it sounds strange being proud of a hair choice but it was the fact that she didn't let another person's opinion sway her that impressed me. I am fortunate enough to have a confident daughter who loves her natural self.
Stephanie started the luncheon with a celebration of what her organization, Stephanie's Dollhouse, represent. In her speech she discussed the importance of mother daughter bonding and how her mother influences her daily. We listened to testimonies from women who beat the odds by carving out a strategic path to their success. The women showed their gratitude and attributed their can-do attitude to having loving, smart, and driven mothers who gave unconditional support and love.
Afterwards we participated in games and ate brunch. We took pictures and gave praise to Stephanie for her hard work in bringing all of us together to celebrate womanhood through mother and daughter bonding.
The mother and daughter luncheon was a special day that I will always cherish. A dress up brunch with mothers and daughters while supporting a great friend and creating memories in a warm and inviting atmosphere was exactly what Danni and I needed to create a wonderful memory. Thanks Stephanie and Stephanie's Dollhouse for the invitation to a great experience.
Again and again across my time line I see my perfect, successful, attractive Facebook friends make a fool of themselves over their relationship status. If only I could reach out to them and let it be known that even though you look great on paper your Facebook page indicate something different. Truth is, we (your audience) know why you're single.
Now this article isn't about every body who is single and hopefully a lot of my message won't apply to you BUT if it does take the information in slowly, digest it, and let it settle in. After all, I do not personally know you but from what I can see online - I know enough. Below are my top reasons of why you are still on the shelf.
You're giving away the farm for free
You're a walking billboard giving everything about you away for free. There is no guessing about you and it leaves little to the imagination and no room to ask questions. A man can look at your Facebook page and automatically tell what you're all about. By analyzing your post, comments and pictures he can assume how life will be with you and this may cause fear that you'll overshare information about y'alls situation without it actually being official.
You are doing the most for no reason
There are days when you're cool as fuck and other days your bipolarness breaks through and you're going through it. The struggle between being a victim, whining, and being independent overrides your dateablity. Settle down, pace yourself and realize what your message is saying about your temperament and most importantly you. You should always think before you speak including when you post.
Your kinda desperate and it's showing
Too many times you brag about being a strong, independent, woman with the signature stamp - single by choice. Everyone goes through some type of heartbreak in life so dust your shoulders off and know that relationship pitfalls are experiences that make us better partners. The no pain no gain cliche is real. So, yes you will strike out several times but that's life. It's completely normal and okay to be lonely but when you boast about being independent then switch it up to wanting someone every other day, it shows desperation and yields a yellow flag to potential suitors.
You don't have your shit together
No man wants to give their best and time to someone who doesn't know what they want in life. If you can't make appropriate life decisions how can you trust your instinct to find a man who is right for you? Being aware of what you want is a major key in attracting your ideal man. Being unaware will show a potential man that you may just be a ghost shell (someone who is great on the outside but lacks substance within). A wise man once told me, "A beautiful woman is great to look at but you can only have sex so many times during the day. Eventually you're going to want a conversation and if she can't give you that, then you have nothing."
You're not perfect
I hate to burst your bubble (yes I took it all the way back there) but you're not perfect so the perception of finding someone who is is crazy! You should look for the person who is the most compatible to you - not your friends, BUT you. Also look beyond their flaws and understand that you have some too. After all, you are single and hot right?! So there is a reason why no one has put a ring on it - okay, I think you get what I am saying.
You're too busy trying to impress other women
Instead of trying to impress women who are in a similar situation as you how about turning your attention towards working on you. Let people know you have substance and avoid being thirsty, a single woman crusader, and "preaching" the gospel about not settling and waiting. Here is another truth - avoid being the successful spokeswoman of singlehood unless you absolutely want to live like a hermit.