Black women, please stop telling me you're going to do what I did and get a white man. This statement irks the hell out of me, and it is insulting. The words strike me pretty hard as if I couldn't possibly be this happy if I was married to a black man and I had to give up black men to achieve love, happiness, and financial stability. Whenever someone says an asinine statement like "get me a white man" they diminish the love in our relationship and outright suggesting that having a good man is directly related to his lack of skin pigmentation.
I fell in love with Donald for everything but his race. The race wasn't a determining factor. When I met this complete stranger, we clicked, vibed, and had several things in common. So much in common, it is creepy. We both ended long relationships, we have MBA's and work in project management field, we share a passion for Autism, we both had Jack Russells, we love the same type of music, similar food, our religious preference match, political views are similar, we have three kids and our first born's name is Alex, we don't care for shopping, love traveling, enjoy sex, and most importantly we laugh at our jokes. And I didn't mention how we randomly met on a shuttle (click here to read the story), with the same flight, and moved to Houston the same week!
Beyond all of the eery coincidence, we respect each other and knew we wanted to explore the world together. We make a good team, he is yin and I am yang. With that much in common, you don't have a choice but to give it a go. Our love has everything to do with us being perfect for each other. We are different, but one in the same and we make sense.
I love Donald's spirit, ideology, non judgemental-risk-accessing, romantic, justice seeking, music-loving, great father, best friend, geek squad, superhero Scottish self. He loves my laughter, love for life, naivety, caring, beautiful (I'm so modest), humorous, music-loving, justice seeking, great mother, best friend, and non geek squad self. I love him because who he is and not for his skin color and vice versa.
So, the next time you meet someone who is in an interracial relationship, and your love life isn't so hot, don't minimize their love and happiness to being founded on race - and please believe that a man's color has nothing to do with how he loves.