Yes, yes I know it is a strange addiction, but I have to admit it. I need to get it off of my chest. I have to let the world know that, I - Alisa Elliot is overwhelmingly involved in using filters to enhance my (every) pictures [insert sad face].
A couple of years ago I couldn't understand the hype over filters, and I remember staying away from the technology because I thought it was photoshop. Fast forward to today, and now I don't like posting a picture without using a filter.
The problem is - I look like a 35-year-old me. The lines under my eyes, the crow's feet beside my eyes, and my crooked smile from being an avid thumbsucker is completely showing my age.
I should be proud, though. I hold my weight pretty good at 5'6 (technically 5'5 3/4), I've birthed three kids, and I've had an interestingly (hard) path - I started being a mom at 15. When I went to therapy at 30 for being confused about life, I was told that I had lived a life of a 40-year-old. So now that I am turning 35 this summer that means I'm mentally turning 45 - but why must I see it around my eyes?
I never really been bothered about looks until I started YouTubing and seeing celebrities my age on tv holding down their beauty remarkably well - no lines, no wrinkles, just flawless. I think it's unrealistic to put these expectations on myself, but I can't close my eyes and pretend as if I don't see it. I see it! I want my emerging wrinkles to move around. BUT not on my face - not on my watch!
Makeup is the trick; filters will help increase the magic however when I look into my seven year old's eyes when she smiles - there I see it. She has my smiling eye creases, and I love it! Her smile warms my heart, and the lines under her eyes show me my DNA embedded in her. Will I tell her to look for creams to hide or minimize her future wrinkles inherited from her mother? No, no I won't because I want my daughter to be her beautiful self. She is confident, care spirited, loving, smart, and reminds me that I have done something right and I see it in her lovely eyes.