Recently I was in a Facebook group where the post included a woman who had gone to great lengths to get an amazing ass. It was obvious she indulged in butt injections. The comment section of the post was wild and ranged from delicious to disgusting. At one point, a woman suggested that the woman did this because of the pressure men put on women to have a big ass. A guy responded by saying that men didn't do this, she did. I agreed with him, and the debate started.
You see, I think butt shots is a condition of women attempting to fit other women's theory concerning beauty with a side of low self-esteem. The woman in the group disagreed stating that because of men's admiration of asses, women feel the need to get butt injections. I explained that this is a woman's doing because of other women. For instance, I have never heard a man say a woman's eyebrows are sexy neither have I heard a man say, "Oh baby, that contouring is turning me on!" The only reason why women focus on eyebrows, asses, and contouring is that we want to live up to the beauty standards of other women. Women force this idea on us that big butts, contouring, and eyebrows are life.
On the other hand, I can understand that some women may feel that getting a man of their dreams or being instafamous, is to have a big ass. I mean look at the women we celebrate Kim Kardashian, Nicki Minaj, Amber Rose, and Black Chyna. An ass got them where they needed to be or did it?
I think their talent, yes talent, and persistence got them to greater heights and just maybe their butt reconstruction boosted their self-esteem. Do I think they would've made it without getting butt injections? Most definitely. Do I think they believed that? Hell no.
And this is why I think women get their ass filled with chemicals because they are following the lead thinking that a phat ass will lead them to the promise land. Many women who feel this way should realize those celebrity women with big booties and little thighs got to where they're at because they put in work. Yes, like many years of work, that extends beyond their ass. However, I can't help but think that many of these celebs with ass shots regret it, like K. Michelle in the video below. It seems like their behind undermine their talent, makes it hard for people to take them seriously, and most importantly causes significant health risks.
I wish women would recognize that it isn't the ass that takes you places or gets you the man you want. It is you. You are so much more than a phat ass. And as the saying goes...for every hot girl there is at least one dude who is tired of her bullshit. So even if you get the ass that you want from the butt shots, you still need substance. Because I bet you money that the woman with a small to no ass is getting more serious dates than the woman with a fat ass and little thighs.
I did it! I'm not totally convinced that I'm sure why I decided to do it though. My mind races with reasons as I type this...maybe it's because I like a change or maybe it's due to turning 35 next week. It could have something to do with wanting to feel my bald head, wanting luxurious natural curls, or being tired some of the same blonde hair/style, or it could be my upcoming European holiday has me losing it.
Out of all of these different reasons, I think the primary one is a need to discover my natural hair. I've had a relaxer since the 3rd grade. My daughter is currently in the 3rd grade, she is 8, so that makes nearly 30 years of chemicals. What the hell am I hiding under there? I need to find out!
To prepare myself I spent a lot of time surfing the web searching different hair types and wondering which type is mine. I loved looking at the coils, curls, and organic beauty of the women's hair with particular interest to TWA (teeny weeny afros).
I have always loved short hair. My hair idols are Halle Berry, Nia Long, Monica and Toni Braxton. Their hair can't compete with their flawless beauty, and the confidence to know it and show it is what makes me love them. Short hair compliments sex appeal to me, and it shows that your hair is as an accessory, not you. The confidence and fierceness Halle, Nia, Monica, and Toni exude is how I want to feel in a natural state. Hopefully, I can move toward the ladies fashion sense and workout regime too, but it's one step at a time right now (a girl is wishing!).
I told my husband my plan to go short and natural, and he was intrigued. If you have been reading my blog, then you know he is from Scotland. Yes, the beautiful green cold place where the guys wear kilts (for a formal occasion). In Scotland, there aren't many blacks, so Donald has very limited experience with black hair culture. One of the many reasons why I love my him so much is because he will take the time to discover what I care about, including my hair. He knew this hair cutting thing is a big decision for black women and he took the time to read a couple of articles about the big chop. The day of my haircut he talked to me about an article he read where it discusses the emotional stages of the big chop. I assured him that I didn't qualify for those stages since my hair barely covers my ears. Side note - it's day 5 and no emotional hair problems here.
The new cut has me feeling absolutely amazing. Comfortable. Very very comfortable and I love co-washing and rubbing my hands over my head. I feel every bit of confident, beautiful, and free - for now.
I'm looking forward to watching my dedication play out. Let's see how long I can keep this look up.
Honey getting slayed by color hair Goddess, Mesha Ollie, will have you feeling like you're riding on a glittery rainbow with a Starbuck's macchiato, wearing Ray Ban sunglasses while singing Beyonce's Ego. Last week, this is exactly how I felt after Mesha worked wonders on my mane.
If you have been following me, then you know that I have been partaking in a hair growth journey. I made it a year without a haircut, but I couldn't take it anymore. It was time to do something drastic to defunk my hair routine. A brilliant cut, with lively colors and spectacular curls, is all I needed to get my inner futuristic Dorothy Dandridge on.
And guess what...I did! Never felt so beautiful and stunning in my life. I walked in the door, and my kids yelled, "Fantasia!" I blushed for a hot minute, and it radiated through all of the pictures posted on my social media accounts.
If you are ever in Houston and needing color added to your life I definitely recommend Mesha Ollie visit this link for more information.
Yes, yes I know it is a strange addiction, but I have to admit it. I need to get it off of my chest. I have to let the world know that, I - Alisa Elliot is overwhelmingly involved in using filters to enhance my (every) pictures [insert sad face].
A couple of years ago I couldn't understand the hype over filters, and I remember staying away from the technology because I thought it was photoshop. Fast forward to today, and now I don't like posting a picture without using a filter.
The problem is - I look like a 35-year-old me. The lines under my eyes, the crow's feet beside my eyes, and my crooked smile from being an avid thumbsucker is completely showing my age.
I should be proud, though. I hold my weight pretty good at 5'6 (technically 5'5 3/4), I've birthed three kids, and I've had an interestingly (hard) path - I started being a mom at 15. When I went to therapy at 30 for being confused about life, I was told that I had lived a life of a 40-year-old. So now that I am turning 35 this summer that means I'm mentally turning 45 - but why must I see it around my eyes?
I never really been bothered about looks until I started YouTubing and seeing celebrities my age on tv holding down their beauty remarkably well - no lines, no wrinkles, just flawless. I think it's unrealistic to put these expectations on myself, but I can't close my eyes and pretend as if I don't see it. I see it! I want my emerging wrinkles to move around. BUT not on my face - not on my watch!
Makeup is the trick; filters will help increase the magic however when I look into my seven year old's eyes when she smiles - there I see it. She has my smiling eye creases, and I love it! Her smile warms my heart, and the lines under her eyes show me my DNA embedded in her. Will I tell her to look for creams to hide or minimize her future wrinkles inherited from her mother? No, no I won't because I want my daughter to be her beautiful self. She is confident, care spirited, loving, smart, and reminds me that I have done something right and I see it in her lovely eyes.